Saying Goodbye to 2020

With our year coming to a fortunate close, many of us stay wondering what is to come in 2021, scared to enter yet another year filled with unforeseen twists and turns, while others' minds remain frozen in the issues they have faced this past year. I have struggled with both of these thoughts. I'm nervous to face another year of potentially feeling weak and lost, without truly moving on from the hardships that have come out of 2020.

Though it's cliché to say, this year has taught me more than I would have ever imagined. I learned to grieve both literal and figurative loss, push myself toward goals, and to admit when I need help from those around me. It's been a weird time of needing support more than ever, yet also cherishing moments when I am completely alone. Thankfully, I know I'm not alone in feeling as though the past 12 months have been somewhat of a rollercoaster. The year of 2020 has definitely not been a walk in the park for anyone.

To say that 2020 has been hard is an understatement. I, for one, have undoubtedly been faced with many hardships. Am I better for having undergone so many trials? That's not exactly measurable. I lost loved ones that I cherished dearly, said goodbye to relationships that once meant a great deal to me, and yet I also appreciated the times I had with those that remained close to me. Most of all, I realized that I must continuously choose how to go about living. When I look back on this year, there will always be two sides of my 2020 story...

I will remember the immense losses I felt for months. But, I will also remember the amount of love and happiness I shared with those loved ones while I had the chance.

I will think of the quarantine rules and regulations that limited my ability to create "normal" experiences with my family and friends. However, I will never forget the countless ideas my friends came up with to spend time with each other.

I will remember that my coursework was suddenly shifted to being virtual, with limited interaction with professors and other students. Yet, I will also think of how thoughtful and understanding people were when dealing with this adjustment.

There are two mindsets I constantly battle with. I could wake up each day, realizing the extent to which our lives have been negatively altered, or I could wake up feeling lucky to continue living my life while surrounded by support and love. On most days, I choose the latter. However, it'd be untrue to say this choice is unanimous. All the same, I want to share what has helped me continue pushing forward both mentally and physically every day.

I try to remember who I was in January of 2020. It's hard to imagine that my biggest issue was deciding what outfits to wear for sorority recruitment. I was coasting through classes, friendships, and life in general. I worked out minimally, I paid little attention to my bad habits, and I relied far too much on others to determine my general well-being. I was happy at that time, unaware of how I could be much happier if I made simple changes in my life.

Since then, I have made several alterations to my lifestyle. Starting this past summer, I had difficulty sleeping. I was grieving, unhappy, and anxious. I would lay awake from the early hours of the morning until the sun came up. However, I began using this time to focus on something beneficial. I began running almost every morning as the rest of the world woke up. I would watch the sunrise on the beach and write chapters on end. I called my dad, who was always awake, to feel as though I was still home even while I was far away at school. I turned something that could have been so detrimental to my routine, into a positive start to each day. This small change -getting out of bed each morning- had a domino effect on my life. I began to feel more physically healthy, proactive, and positive. Though my lack of sleep is just one example of how this year has affected my lifestyle, it's just proof that sometimes the glass is half full, not empty.

Whether it be grieving a loved one, facing family hardships such as unemployment, or struggles with identity and the harsh environment that surrounds us today, every person has had to overcome some problem this past year. And, no matter how small or large that problem may seem, it's crucial to remember that we made it through.

When the clock strikes midnight tomorrow, I don't believe that life will magically change for the better. I have not created unrealistic expectations of myself and the world for 2021. The ball in New York City does not have magical powers that can erase all evil and bad from our lives. However, when that ball does drop, I will continue trying to live with a positivity that allows myself to get excited about each new day, rather than dwelling on the days passed. I know that the struggles and problems that plague our world may not disappear in the near future, but I think this past year has shown that we are more capable of overcoming trials than we previously thought ourselves to be. I plan to carry the perseverance and mindset that I have developed this past year with me in 2021. I hope, as a collective, many of you can do the same.

Happy New Year

- Caroline