What I Wish I Knew: Keeping in Touch

I first moved when I was in 2nd grade, and it came as quite a surprise. My entire social circle consisted of my neighborhood group of friends. Being 7 years old, the concept of leaving all of my friends and the comfort of New Jersey for some foreign land named Pennsylvania was hard to grasp. However, considering my parents called the shots, I had absolutely zero chance of changing our family's fate. Instead, I bargained for a cell phone and a pool to swim in. For some reason, these amenities made the big move less of a burden on my 7-year-old life. As it turns out, my requests really did help me in the long run. I was able to keep in touch with my childhood friends by texting or calling them. In that day and age, the concept of cellphones was meant for that exact reason. I had my parents, my emergency contacts, my brother, and my closest friends on my contact list. Even still, I lost contact with most of my New Jersey friends. Considering I was 8 when I moved, I forgive myself for losing touch.

My brother transferred from public school to private school when he was a sophomore in highschool. We had both always been 2 years apart in the same school district, but now my family found ourselves at a crossroads of who would be drven to school, who would have to take the bus home, or who would get to have a parent in the stands at our sports games. Being on separate campuses just made life harder for my family, which led to the decision of starting my highschool career at the private school he attended. However, this meant I again would have to leave the comfort of a school full of familiar faces with my bestfriends. Of course I feared that I would again lose touch with my friends, just as I did when I was 8 years old. Except now, I knew better. I knew the importance of communication and keeping in touch. I knew that although highschool would bring excitement and a busy schedule, I couldn't let my closest friendships since elementary school fade. Although my parents might have been surprised, and maybe theirs as well, I wasn't shocked to find myself with my best friends since elementary school on a trip to my new home in Florida 4 years later. Because, although I lived my own life in highschool, I kept in touch with the ones who mattered to me regardless of their daily proximity to me.

As always, sometimes the best way for me to really dive into a topic is to first explain why I find it important. I've moved citied 3 times in my life. I have left 2 majorly impactful neighborhoods full of family friends. However, as I now live 1000s of miles away from my hometown, I still consider some of the friends I made at 10 years old to be my closest. Similarly, I have learned to cherish each friendship that proves strong enough to endure long distance. In college, this awareness is really important. Being that so many of my friends live across the United States, I have found that if I don't make a conscious effort to reach out to people at random hours of random days, friendships fade.

I stayed home this semester instead of rejoining my friends at Syracuse University. To be honest, I needed the Florida sun to bring me back to my normal self after a really tough summer and semester of loss and hardships. If I wasn't so confident in my ability to keep in touch with friends, I might not have been able to make this crucial decision for well-being. But, that's not the case. I've stayed busy and productive with work and school, but I visit when I can and always let my friends know when I'm thinking about them.

Even though I've had lots of practice at maintaining friendships just through forced moves, not everyone has had to deal with this. In fact, losing friends after highschool graduation is a big fear of incoming college students . My advice to anyone having difficulty with keeping up relationships from a distance, or even to people who just fear the big "goodbye" coming up with lifelong friends, is this:

1. Pick up the phone and call them. No matter the time or day, or even the reason, no one hates listening to a voicemail explaining the random memory with them that popped into your head.

2. Don't let your current situation overpower your life. Even though you might assume that your friends will understand why you are MIA lately, a simple check-in text every once in a while goes a long way and genuinely requires little effort.

3. Send tiktoks or funny videos. Send songs. It's so easy to make someone's day just by making them laugh or reminisce.

4. Listening isn't everything. Although you might feel like you're the best friend in the world, the other person might not feel the same. Friendships need both listening and sharing to work. Your friends care about what's going on with you, not just the fact that you know what's going on with them. That's how it works.

5. Don't base your decisions on anyone else. Real friendships last through distance, hardships, and anything life might throw at you. If you base your career, education, or life around your friends for the purpose of staying comfortable, you might never live to your fullest potential. That's why it's important to start working on these relationships now.

I might be preaching to the choir or talking in circles, but I hope this information is useful to someone going through these issues now. If you have any tips or stories about long distance friendships share them below!